that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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