My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize