Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I would fuck him just for his dog
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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