I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
