It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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