I look better un-naked...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
