Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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