Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
