Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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