Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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