If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
