it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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