More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize