Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
