So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
