I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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