my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize