Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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