this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
