What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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