Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I could make wine with my vomit
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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