I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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