This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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