Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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