so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
