I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
