dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
