Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
