I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
