He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
