what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
