he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
