so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
