she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
