she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
