How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
