So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
