I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
