He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
PANTIES FOUND
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