If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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