i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
