Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I love you.
Bad choice
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
