did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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