in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
