Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
