I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
