i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Terrible idea I love it
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
