No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
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So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
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I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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