The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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