Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
