At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My life is pants optional.
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