Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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