She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
