Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize